My Family Advices

Parenting tips and advice, for raising kids

What is Active Parenting

In 1985, Dr. Michael H. Popkin founded the Active Parenting Publishers to promote active parenting methods inspired by the Adlerian psychology. He made the method popular, providing a framework for active parenting and a series of methods which can be used with young children and teens.

Active parenting is a proactive approach that aims to instill values, morals and build a foundation for the character of a child. The purpose of active parenting is not to wait for a child to do something wrong and punish him. The method involves helping the children learn life skills, especially some important ones such as self-esteem, cooperation, courage and responsibility.

Active parenting is a goal oriented method that involves using skills borrowed from certain essential principles. This means that a parent should not simply try to make children behave just for the sake of it, like authoritarian parents do, and instead set goals for them to achieve and create certain standards of behavior. The goals can be simple, such as be polite, or complex such as getting into a good college. If the child or teenager adopts behaviors that lead toward that goal, the parent encourages and rewards them. At the opposite end, behaviors that draw away from the goals are discouraged.

Another important aspect of active parenting is the principle that social interactions between children and parents are the decisive elements of the relationship. As a result, active parents must think about how they behave and what effect that behavior will have on the child. Active parenting involves treating your kids with respect and concentrating on strengthening the relationship through social interactions. The interactions are based on mutual respect and are positively focused. This means that the parents should be able to imagine how it is to walk in the shoes of others and consider the child’s point of view and where is it coming from. In order to identify why a child has a certain behavior, parents should ask questions instead of just reacting to that negative behavior.

Other principles of active parenting involve the role of nature and nurture in the development of a child, but also the role of personal responsibility. Active parents adopt a holistic view, considering all aspects of why their children are behaving in a certain way. The Alderian psychology focuses on using the existing parenting abilities and the child’s existing capabilities instead of wishing you had different ones.

In order to employ active parenting, you can focus on cognitive behavioral changes by rewarding positive behaviors and trying to determine the reason for a negative attitude. Negative behaviors also have consequences, but they are not considered separately, but in the entire structure of the child and parent/child relationship.


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