My Family Advices

Parenting tips and advice, for raising kids

Blended family issues

If you had a relationship and you were married wit that person and hen you got separated and now you meet someone new with which you got remarried and both of you have children from past relationships, the new family you have is called a blended family. These families are also known as step families.

Blended family issues Blended family issues Picture

The most common family issues that occur in blended families are always related to children. I will expose a few common family issues in the next words and I will also try to give some solutions to them.

Let’s say that your children’s don’t get along together and that they are constantly picking on each other and making remarks like “my mom loves me more then she loves you” and “your father loves me more then he loves your mom”. A good way to solve this particular family issue is to convince the children’s that they are equally loved by both parents, and show them that the love between the two of you is not something that will come and go as a bumblebee. You can do this by sharing your love and spreading it till it covers both children and your new husband. A great way to share the love is to organize events in which all the family is involved like having a barbeque or going out to an amusement park. If you want to go on a vacation should be protected throughout the trip.

Most of the family issues that you will encounter in a blended family will revolve around the children. They will do their best to test out the strength of your relation by placing you and your new husband in impossible situations. They might go as far as to calling their other natural parents and make different scenes at school or in public. If their other natural parents are dead they will invoke their names saying that they were so much better then you or then your husband. You can not do much about this except facing them with a smile and ignoring them when they take such actions. Remember ignoring family issues is not a solution to them and t will never fix it. You have to set up your own methods to deal with these family problems, ones which suit your particular situation. For example, you can have family meetings where each of you gets to discuss what bothers them about the others; this should be done in a calm and respectful way, considering others feelings; the children could be rewarded when they show common sense and politeness towards their new siblings and step parents, with something like a family life merit badge, or some other symbolic reward you come up with. The rewards shouldn’t be material, because they can lead to further confusion, making the children act pollite just to receive candy and thus learn that you can deceive others; another problem which could occur are arguments between children about who got more or better rewards, so it is better to use something like a family life merit badge, or a chart with star points.

As always with a new house it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that every kid will feel freed of all boundaries and rules once he gets there. This phenomenon is accentuated by the new relationship of the parent as well. The solution to this family issue is to rise new boundaries and enforce new rules while establishing yourself as the responsible parent of your own children.

These are but a few of the many problems that can appear in a blended family. In order to be able to handle them you need a lot of patience. Though you may be compelled to spend all your free time with the family, try to also find some time for yourself. For example as a woman you can join a women fitness or yoga club. This can be your trouble free area where you can relax while working out. If you have a step daughter you might also want to take her to the women fitness club. It will be a great way to have fun just the two of you.

 

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